Dear Helena, I recently went to a bar that is famous for its cocktails. I asked the bartender to make me something whiskey-based, hoping he would whip up something really great for me on the fly. My male friend did too. He made my friend a badass, strong drink and made me something froofy over ice, with a bunch of simple syrup and muddled fruit. I felt like he was being sexist. Was I asking for it by just letting him wing it? Or should he have not assumed I'd want a girly drink? --No Pink Drinks

Dear No Pink Drinks, The bartender was wrong to assume you'd prefer a froufrou cocktail just because you're a woman. Mike Ryan, bartender at the Violet Hour in Chicago, says: "I've made so-called manly cocktails for ladies who look like they should be drinking something pink and fruity with an umbrella in it, and fruity, girly-looking drinks for guys in muscle shirts."

But gender sometimes makes a difference in what people order if they don't know what the drink will taste like. They order based on preconceptions